HOW TO ALWAYS BE #WINNING IN LOVE
“Love is a many splendored thing”— we all know that’s true. While that may be so, there
are some crucial things the lot of us seem to be overlooking in our individual quests for
love. Sometimes, it’s important to note that just because you might be feeling like the new
poster child for #ForeverAlone, it’s really not wise to be settling or lowering those standards
to score yourself a cuddle-buddy.
Here are some things you should never lose sight of as you’re awaiting your Prince (or Princess) Charming high up in your ivory tower.
1) Everybody should be able to get along.
What I mean is that everybody should be able to meet semi-frequently if not frequently to break bread, get-together and have a grand ol’ time. Who I mean is all of the important characters in your life. Friends, family and all the extensions of (think church friends, work family, etc.)
The people you have loved and who’ve loved you for as long as they have will have the best gauge on whether or not your new partner is Mr. So Wrong or Miss Perfectly Right. Trust me.
2) It’s necessary to be on the exact same page/s.
Religious beliefs, personal values and life goals are the core of our very existence as human beings. Bear in mind that these are the things that have essentially shaped and moulded us from the time we were conscious enough to make informed decisions right up to the moments in which we begun experiencing everything we possibly could in our livelihoods at varying stages of life. If you can’t see any kind of common ground when it comes to these paramount issues, it’s probably wiser to rip cord, right now. Sorry, buddy.
3) Toe that line in the sand. Early.
People like to say that the biggest no-no’s a girl (or a guy) could pull is addressing all the “tough stuff” right off the bat. From all my years of dating, though, that could not be further from the truth.
When it comes to falling for someone and making that huge emotional investment, it’s so necessary to talk about all the elephants in the room right from the get-go. If the person gets squeamish talking about all the potential challenges to a relationship and/or tricky always be #winning in love situations, then you can bet your bottom dollar that relationship isn’t going anywhere deep any time soon. (Or, even at all. Lezzbehonest.) Dealing with issues early on head-on is a good gauge to whether or not a person is going to be a significant or insignificant other. Also, it’s always wise to set the tone as to what you will and will not be tolerating in a relationship. That way, you won’t have to make any excuses or apologies when it goes south and you decide to cut your losses.
4) Understand Needs vs. Wants
This will require a great deal of objectivity. Often times, females tend to fall into the trap of believing that they need a fairytale/movie-type love to sustain any kind of “chemistry” in their love lives. This is some illusion of grandeur fed to us by various media channels: songs, films, books.
Ladies and gents, it’s not real life. It’s important to make note of what you perceive to be a necessity and what really is. Objectivity helps to wipe away that smear of rose-tint from the eyes and to see what love can really look like. A good thing to always hold to and remember is also this: just because somebody doesn’t love you like how you expect them to, doesn’t mean that they don’t love you with all that they are/have.
5) Never, ever, ever stop loving yourself.
As cliché as it might be, this is something that girl or guy, man or woman should always bear in mind and put into practise. Don’t ever forget that anything you do to yourself will teach another to do to you. If you allow somebody to walk all over you, if you make it okay for yourself to be treated
than less than you are, then that is NOT self-love and you need to seriously re-examine your motivations for being in the relationship. RuPaul said it best, y’all. “If you can’t love yourself, how in the heyyyyll you gon’ love somebody else?” Now that you’re in on the secret, my positively brimming with potential lovebirds; go forth and love bravely. One last little helpful tip-bit from me to you: it helps tremendously to keep an open mind! You’ll never know when love is lurking ‘round the corner and might just reach out to tap you on the shoulder.
Above all, love bravely. All ways. Always.