Cat is the founder of Catson Group. Their mission is to let everyone know how great Malaysia is as a country and we have many great people here making great things together. She’s a mother, her child is one year old plus.
Cat: First is attitude because I think attitude number one, skills number two, if you don’t have a good attitude. I think how good you are, if you’re more negative or you put yourself in a place, you will find it hard to grow, you will have difficulties working with these people right? Second is value like you must have value. If you’re at a company or you’re working with someone, you’re a taker, you can’t give values, I think your path is going to be difficult. Third is to have result, I think in this life, nobody is easy but if today because of one sentence “I tried my best” and don’t prioritize your result then you will never improve.
Adele: I personally know you’ve been in this industry for quite long, so I will ask you, if today you’re not doing what you’re doing now, what would you do?
Cat: Actually I always joke about something with people around me. If I can be under a boss, I don’t want to be the boss because the boss’s money is always on the market, the other’s money is in their pockets. Like after these four years, being a boss actually is not easy so don’t complain about your boss everyday. Maybe you only need to do your job scope but your boss is handling the entire job, entire family.My first choice would be, I want to be a full-time housewife but I know that it’s very difficult because maybe sometimes now my child is older and will go down the bed. I will be worried so I really respect nannies and full-time housewives because it’s really not easy, 24 hours. If you’re a boss, you want to rest, you can still rest but if today you’re a mom, you cannot say that I want my own personal space, I want to travel.
Actually maybe the society now is negative so many people will envy people in front of them but forget about themselves that they’re worthy. Actually we need to see ourselves, know ourselves. I have a period where maybe I’m more anxious and stressed from working. We will have negative feelings, we will be sad, we will also cry especially we’re women right? I told my husband that I’m in pain, I’m not happy and my husband found a solution which is so good. If today, when you feel tired, you’re not happy, is it because you forget to look at yourself? Love yourself?
A person must have their own time like sometimes I will separate it clearly because I worked 24 hours last time because I feel if I didn’t work then I won’t exist now. I tell myself if I’m at home, I will put down my phone. What is your character at home? You’re a mom then you must be a mom and wife for example, sometimes cook for your husband. You think you don’t need to care about your husband’s stomach? You have a lot of things to do and in the office, you will fully focus on your job. We already sacrifice the time to see our children’s growth like the first tooth, like the first time walking, crawling, turning. Actually to be honest my nanny saw all those, not me so I feel bad sometimes like sometimes when I can’t coax my child, I will really feel bad.
Adele: I also have a stay-in nanny and one day when I came back and there’s a tooth then the nanny looked at me, miss, the tooth came out two days ago and I can tell you I felt the same. With you, I said why didn’t you tell me? Huh, you didn’t see? and I’m like okay lor. Second tooth okay I saw. AhCat you said nowadays society may be a bit negative, what do you think society nowadays can do better?
Cat: Sending out more positive messages especially on social media, we didn’t have social media last time, everything is meeting and motivating others? But I feel that in this social media era, maybe we can see Facebook, RED, maybe IG right will focus on some negative things, why? Because reach is higher, more people will see it because I think people now have the same sickness like you can see some have anxiety, hypomania or depression, I think it’s more common now even I also have. Everything is on ourselves, these medicines or even your doctor will tell you actually you only need a good listen beside you.
If the people around us like your husband or your work partner like your boss, if they can give you more positive power, then you will not make things difficult, you will not not forgive someone because of small mistakes, does this person really need to be sentenced to death? If I use my parents’ way to treat my child, then what I’ve been through will only continue. When you think things are bad, with a lot of obstacles, why not try to adjust yourself? Because we know we can’t change the society, we can’t change the people around us but you can change yourself. I realized a lot of people choose to complain, that’s why I have a tagline which is “affect lives with your own life” like use your own life to change more lives.
Adele: We always say one finger pointing at people, four fingers pointing at yourself, if you can flip the mirror to yourself, ask yourself how to change from other’s perspective. I feel things are always being affected by another, then in relationships, what are your views on emotional dependence?
Cat: I was 18 and now I’m 28, I don’t like to hide things, that’s why I couldn’t control my emotions last time, I always scold. Someone commented, he/she wants to work hard but his/her other half is a negative and an unmotivated person so how? Reaching the same consensus is important. Going the same path together is also important like if I want to form a family, I want kids but my husband don’t want then we actually can’t reach the same consensus and can’t reach this target, only two way, number one is you try to communicate, number two is break up because since you have all these excuses mean you don’t want to save this marriage or relationship right?
Looking at my parents’ fight until now, I already know my wound. How can I let my child suffer, I need to save this marriage because I want to be a responsible mom. Actually two people, when you want to be together, is it because your heart flutters or can you trust him/her? Letting each other feel this is because you can see responsibility. You want to do more for him/her, like when you see your child, you won’t feel he/she is so cute then you hate them tomorrow, you will always love them forever. Solutions are more than trouble, only if you want the result then you can find ways, people like freshness right? Not only men but we are like this too right? Like you’re using this bag and you are bored, you want to change
Then how do we maintain the freshness?
I think small things can’t be neglected like saying good night, kissing each other’s forehead every morning, hugging, it’s a must for me, a human’s attitude is do you want or must? If you want, you only think about it every day and complain to each other every day, giving a selfish expectation. One time when I fought with my husband, he cried and say, actually I didn’t know, you must tell me, I didn’t think it was too complicated so at that time actually I felt sad. I told myself, I’ve been putting a selfish expectation on him all the time making him stressed out, this is why they start to distance us. If your other half don’t want to listen to you today, I think maybe we can do something happy first.
Adele: Who doesn’t have that idea with their other half, wah maybe I can find better ones. I think it’s really normal. Maybe we don’t say but I can promise everyone must have had this idea, all of us have one powerful thing called choice, a lot of times, people don’t see that actually the power of choice is in our hands.
Cat: I saw a phrase in a book, it said “the choices you make makes you” because actually a lot of people will say I should have chosen this, I should have chosen that but you know? It’s because you chose that, you only can improve, God felt like wow this person has potential, if I give him a bit, he can pass, then I’ll give him a bigger present. If you think like that, you will want to do it. Pilates is trendy nowadays, right? I also gave myself personal time to do pilates. Go suffer a bit, your journey of improving yourself today may be hard but it will be good. I must treat myself harshly then only I’m better. Actually I’m grateful to God that when I was 23 my husband was in debt for 1 million and I paid back, actually it was none of my business. I didn’t know what happened, a lot of people asked I’m only 23, why didn’t I leave him?
But I asked myself, do I leave or do I accompany him? I felt that except for him easily trusting others, he
did not have much problem, I bet on him. Maybe you all started from zero but we started from negative and we haven’t even earn 1 million, we need to pay back but I’m grateful that I learned how to earn that, letting me to have the opportunity to earn my second 1 million
Adele: If you’re listening to this podcast, I really wish that at least one point that has hit you to let you take action. I really hope this podcast can give you some values. One piece of advice for them, what do you want to say to them?
Cat: Don’t do things with temper because since young, my temper is bad and even when I was paying the debt, I thought I realized he increased one more debt. I was crazy at that time, depressed and I just punched and broke my husband’s nose. All these years, my husband tolerated me for me to change. Actually I have also been through bad paths. Nobody will be this positive without any reasons. There’s no such thing as smooth sailing. Everything is in your hands, everyone told me they’re scared, not about money but people I ask myself, if people laugh at me today, will I lose my meat? So I really want to tell
everyone, all of us wish that we have excellent partners, excellent friends, then your friends and partners also wish right?
They also wish they have excellent friends and wives. If you turn people’s comments into motivation then won’t you be doing better? If you don’t treat yourself harshly, society will treat you more harshly because this society won’t pity you because we’re women. Everyone will think you’re not good enough, you’re not strong enough so we need to be the stronger one.
Adele: Really thank you AhCat for your time, if you guys like it, remember to share and follow AhCat, I will see you in the next one, bye bye.
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