Valentine’s Day is just days away! Have you gotten everything planned out for your boo? We, on the other hand have something special coming up from yesterday onwards up till Valentine’s Day!
In the spirit of cupid’s bow, the team from Sevenpie got out of our way and approached a few couples who are obviously in love and would like to share a thing or two about their relationship to YOU, our dear readers. These couples may be someone you’ve been following on social media, some of them are also average Joes like you and I!
But, regardless of who they are and where they came from, each and every one of them have a story to tell. And we hope that we all can pick up something from them and who knows, this might even shed some new found wisdom about LOVE.
To make things a little more interesting, the couples that we’ve interviewed will share about topics that encompass various aspects, and we must add that some are rather unconventional. So if you’re toying around the idea of dating someone from a different racial background, we got that covered yesterday. LGBT? We’re super stoic for this one! And finally, if you’re one of those who have your reservations about marriages, well, we got that covered too and it’s coming to you REAL soon!
So, sit back with your boo, relax and enjoy reading because today’s article is all about LGBT couples!
1. First things first, what attracted you to your partner?
SYLVIA: Gosh, where do I start? You know what’s funny, she’s obviously the most gorgeous person alive but it wasn’t her looks! My initial attraction towards her was her worldliness and sense of humor. On the first night we met, we laid tipsily on a wooden plank, looked up at the night sky, talked about our travels and joked about cultural things that we found funny. We are two people with completely different upbringings, from opposite ends of the world, yet we shared the same world views, morale and humor. It’s dreamlike.
Just to give you guys a bit of context, so it doesn’t sound like it’s from a plotline of a film. I met Emily when I studied abroad in England. We lived on campus during the First Year of Uni, I was in the 2nd floor of Block A and Emily on the 1st floor of Block B. Both our flats crashed a birthday party of a stranger on the 1st floor of my Block. That’s when we first met.
EMILY: I thought that she was really pretty and hot. I thought her style was so cool and I knew straight away that I wanted to get to know her.
2. Since there are people in the society who are still not very accepting towards the LGBT community, have you ever experienced any discrimination/ prejudice because you’re a same sex couple?
SYLVIA: Ouf, this is a difficult one because when we were in England, we never struggled with this. In fact, it’s hilarious but we were considered the ‘IT’ couple in Uni. We were in an Art University- an interracial queer couple? People loved us ?
It’s completely different when we came to Malaysia to visit though. I still wouldn’t say that we had any outright discrimination per say, but we were definitely scared. I didn’t dare to show any sort of affection in public because of it and I’d say that affected our relationship. We’re so used to having one another’s comforting touch anywhere we went and lacking that was pretty upsetting. Part of me thinks that I have projected my concerns because having grown up here, I’ve never really seen same sex couples showing any sort of PDAs, so I just assumed we couldn’t either.
It’s something we still struggle with when we’re here.
EMILY: I find this quite a hard and broad question to answer. Yes, we experience discrimination every time we enter a country that still has laws in place where our relationship and actions are deemed illegal. Although, I would say that’s more of an indirect discrimination- along with stereotypes and assumptions of how gay women and members of the LGBTQA+ community live, dress and behave. We just need more accurate representation in the mainstream media.
However, as an individual, yes there have been discrimination and prejudice that I have faced firsthand over the years. I have learnt to deal with this, it just comes as a second nature now, thankfully I am witty 😉
3. You two continue to have such strong admiration, respect and love for one another despite the distance and hardships faced. How do persist when the going gets tough in the relationship?
SYLVIA: I get this question quite a lot. And I gotta say it’s down to a whole host of effort on both our ends, but the main thing is our unceasing commitment to each other and our relationship. It’s so cheesy but I have so much love and respect for her that it triumphs any hardships we face. When things get difficult, we often step back from the petty arguments and say, “is this argument worth it?” and I guess we’re both mature enough to speak about it and get over it. Something I never thought would happen is that the distance has actually improved my communication skills by heaps loads.
EMILY: I love her and I know that she loves me. She’s my best friend and I’m hers. She’s my go to person and we are always there for each other no matter what and as long as we always remember this, I’m sure we’ll be ok ☺
4. Pass on one piece of relationship advice for all couples, regardless of their sexual orientation.
SYLVIA: Communication. Communication. Communication. Learn to communicate your thoughts, your feelings, your wants and your needs with your partner. No one is a mind reader, and no one should be expected to know how you feel if you don’t communicate it. This is something that I’ve learned from Emily and our relationship. When we first started dating, we had very different ways with dealing with conflict. She is a great communicator and I am awful. I shut off and need loads of time to process my feelings while Emily has always been brought up to not go to bed angry, so she naturally wants to resolve disagreements quickly. I’ve learned to express my feelings more instead of bottling it up and it’s been life changing really!
EMILY: Have fun, don’t take everything in life so seriously. Laugh, respect and love one another.
5. What would you do for love?
SYLVIA: For Emily? I’ve come to find out that I’d do a whole lot. We’ve been together for just over 3 years and we’ve honestly gone through so much together. She has held my hands through that hardest chapter in my life and I’d say that I have held hers through hers as well. Not going to bore you with the specificity but if I had to eat a field of bean sprouts to save her life I would. And I really HATE bean sprouts.
EMILY: So many things.
Couple #2: Niralesh and Visshan
1. The LGBT community is growing in terms of society being supportive and people are comfortable coming out. The said community is able to be themselves without being judged as often as before, what is it like dating in the LGBT community in Malaysia?
NIRALESH: Well, the society seems more accepting the LGBT community in comparison to how it was received 10 years back. Having said that, there are still lots of LGBT individuals in fear of “coming out” due to the traditional view on marriages/relationships. Dating in the LGBT community is just the same as dating in the heterosexual community, there is nothing extra ordinary about it. Like any relationships, it has its ups and downs.
VISSHAN: Dating in the LGBT community is great, but nowadays it’s hard to find the right person with genuine intentions. It is common for people to love the trill of the chase, and forget that the individual that you’re chasing, is an actual person and not a game.
2. Although being accepted by many, there are always people who are against the idea of same sex relations. It is always a struggle to be yourself and date who you want to, are there any tips that you would give to people dating in the LGBT community?
NIRALESH: I would always advise that the true acceptance begins from within. If we accept truly accept the way we are, an outsider’s opinion would not appear to be an obstacle in being our journey to self-discovery, and whom we choose to date. We must learn to care and appreciate the love people shower us with, and not pay heed to the negativity because it does not benefit anybody.
VISSHAN: Being gay isn’t a crime, so be proud of it! Although you may get mixed feelings/opinions from people on your sexuality, just remember to be who you. As Mother Monster said, “You Were Born This Way”. There is a lot of negativity in this world, it’s up to you on how you choose to react to it.
3. What is a normal weekend as a couple?
NIRALESH: Usually, my partner and I will have movie nights, during the weekends. Occasionally, we do a bit of gardening, or simply spend time with our 6 babies[puppies].
VISSHAN: A normal weekend would be sleeping in ‘till 12pm, cleaning the house as we have 6 puppies and during the evening we’ll relax with a movie.
4. Describe a perfect date night.
NIRALESH: I don’t require to go on fancy dates and such. I would pick a day-in and some pizzas over fine-dining any time. Visshan and I find joy in the simpler things in life, and that’s what makes us really laid-back.
VISSHAN: I’m not picky but the perfect date night could be anywhere as long my partner is with me. Even a quick meal at a fast food restaurant would be good enough for me. The only thing that matters, is if it’s perfect for the both of you. I think constantly going out to fancy cafes and restaurants can cause financial insecurity. You could easily just cook something and have a movie night, as long you and your partner are happy.
5. There are many couples in the LGBT community that many people look up to, are there any couples that you look up to?
NIRALESH: Personally, I don’t really look up to any couples in LGBT community because I believe everyone has their own unique story and the way people express our love may differ. However, I do admire Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka!
VISSHAN: I don’t have any couple I look up to, specifically. But I do watch YouTubers like Sebb Argo and Dion, as they like pranking each other and despite all of that, they try to maintain a happy relationship.