Valentine’s Day is finally here! Have you gotten everything planned out for your boo? We, on the other hand have something special lined up from Tuesday onwards till Valentine’s Day !
In the spirit of cupid’s bow, the team from Sevenpie got out of our way and approached a few couples who are obviously in love and would like to share a thing or two about their relationship to YOU, our dear readers. These couples may be someone you’ve been following on social media, some of them are also average Joes like you and I!
But, regardless of who they are and where they came from, each and every one of them have a story to tell. And we hope that we all can pick up something from them and who knows, this might even shed some new found wisdom about LOVE.
To make things a little more interesting, the couples that we’ve interviewed will share about topics that encompass various aspects, and we must add that some are rather unconventional. So if you’re toying around the idea of dating someone from a different racial background, we got that covered on Tuesday. LGBT? Done that right here! Young and not to mention, INFLUENTIAL couples? Checked! And finally, if you’re one of those who have your reservations about marriages, well, we got that covered too and happening NOW!
So, sit back with your boo, relax and enjoy reading because this article is all about married couples!
Married couple #1, Adele & Lex Low needs no further introduction. Both of them have various roles to juggle by day and yet, they still find time to reach out to others with their respective influences. Both of them dated briefly (8 months to be exact) before Lex got down in one knee and asked Adele’s hand for marriage. So the burning question is, how they worked through their differences despite knowing each other for such a short time? Let’s find out.
Couple #1: Lex Low and Adele Chow
1. How did you first fall in love with each other?
ADELE: Through a mission trip.
LEX: We met in church and we got to know each other more while we’re on a mission trip in Myanmar.
2. Between the both of you, who puts in more effort?
ADELE : I think you have to first define effort, because there are many ways to look at it, and we both put in a lot of effort to be together.
LEX : I would say both, because no one less, no one more. It is constant; relationship is a constant tug of war kind of thing. Someone pulls, someone lets go, someone pulls, someone lets go and it takes two person to make it happen. So there’s no one more or no one less because its two imperfect human comes together.
3. When did the relationship begin?
ADELE: October 10th, 2016.
LEX : I would say, we have a date-10/10 is the day where we really started our relationship.
4. What makes a relationship healthy?
ADELE & LEX (in unison) : COMMUNICATION!
5. What is the one pet peeve you have about your partner?
ADELE: I think sometimes he’s just a bit slow when he talks to the waiters. Like for example, if we order something like chicken rice or pan mee, Lex will take a long time to communicate with the waiter but me on the other hand feels a tad bit impatient because I cannot understand why it’s taking him so long to order for such a simple meal (haha).
LEX: I think she’s a hoarder, so she keeps a lot of stuff that she doesn’t really need it now and neither does she know that whether she will need it in the future but she just wants to keep them. So as a result of that, I have to manage whatever she is hoarding and a large part of it are paper bags and a lot of the cosmetics that she didn’t even know exist. We’ve thrown out a lot of that.
6. As entrepreneurs, do you find it hard to make time for each other?
ADELE: Yes. His official work hours are 11am – 8pm, He’s a barber stylist whereas for me, my work hours are 9.30am – 6.30pm. So our working time to begin with is already salah (wrong) one lah, so after we got together, he has to fetch me so that we go out together. Before “us”, he goes out at 10.30am, but now he has to leave the house with me at 8am. I usually take my dinner at 7pm, but he finishes work at 8pm. By the time he finish his work for the day at 8pm, plus the traffic jam, we will only have our dinner together at 9pm. So it’s hard for us. We have to compromise with one another.
LEX: *nods in agreement*
7. With both of your companies being so successful, who would be the one to take time off for your future children? If any.
LEX: I think there’s no definite answer for this. It’s the responsibility of both couples. Both of us would definitely be busier so as the first part we mentioned it’s always going to be communication. There’s a lot of planning included. There’s a lot of things that has to be let go when it comes to a new child. And I think, this cannot be done alone and there’s no definite answer. We are not there yet. We have a lot of friends with kids already so it’s just a matter of time for us, to learn that path. I cant give you a specific answer.
ADELE: Yea I agree that it cannot be done alone, just to add on a bit, when we have babies in the future, it cannot be done separately or alone, each of us has to sacrifice a part of our lives. When you have a baby, something has to be let go.
8. So, you both tied the knot after dating for 8 months only. Would you say that there is a minimum courting period before deciding whether to tie the knot, or each to their own?
ADELE: Each to their own. Because I think marriage is a big thing; it’s a next stage of life and relationship is also very big and people shouldn’t take relationship lightly. So I guess the most important thing that contributes to your successful relationship that eventually leads to marriage, is that both individuals have to know what they want, and what journey they’re each at, at that stage. We’re both lucky as we are both at our individual state where we’re ready, so I wouldn’t say that you must have a minimum 2 years dating period, or 6 months. It really depends on the your personal journey, because if not, I could be ready but if he’s not, it just wouldn’t work out.
LEX: Adele mentioned personal journey. I would say personal season as well, because if I’m younger, like 10 years younger, I’ll be 23 years old and I have more time, lesser burden, lesser commitment. So the way I view the timeline to get married might be different, but that doesn’t mean right now that I married Adele last year because I was in a rush. It simply means that I’m at that state and season where I felt like I’m capable, and I really want to build my family. Hence it’s God’s timing. So, in that season of my life I have concluded that it’s time, and it’s time, even if it has only been 8 months, it was time.
9. It’s almost a year since you both got married. Are there any advises you’d like to share with newly weds out there?
ADELE: My advice is that don’t enter into marriage expecting something different from your relationship. If you think that getting into a marriage is going to make your relationship “easier”, you’re very wrong because entering marriage is going to make it “harder”, but in a good way. Because when things get harder, it actually means that it requires more communication, more effort and more energy to make that spark work after marriage, and that’s the beauty of it. So to newlyweds out there, you should know that entering into marriage is like a level up of course, but when I said level up, it also means all sort of relationship effort and energy also need to level up, but the fruit will also level up lah, the love will grow, and what not.
LEX: Reflecting on our marriage, one advice that perhaps we can give to the younger ones is that there’s never ending to marriage, the only ending is like what we said in our vows, till death do us part. So it’s a lifetime discovery of that person. Really take time out to know that person, to know your other half and to really communicate. You know I don’t talk much probably because I don’t share out much and this is something that I’m learning and perhaps it is a lifetime learning process for me that I’ve constantly trying to be better each day; to be a good communicator in this relationship. Because ultimately, that’s what opens up more doors for us to improve together and it’s not just one person’s initiative. So do take time to get to know your other half and do communicate with them, even if it means its uncomfortable and that will help you go through a lot of time together because this process is not easy, it’s not easy for us as well, so this 1 year has been a good time for us to know each other better.
Married couple #2, Livi and Ian Tham were dating each other for 7 years before Ian finally popped the question on Valentine’s eve. They have been married for 3 years and this is by far the longest relationship that we’ve seen among the bunch. So, how did they make their relationship work for a decade? Let’s find out, shall we?
1. What were some of the greatest obstacles you both have faced over the past 10 years?
In pic: the newly engaged couple who were doing their engagement photoshoot at the park where they first met 7 years prior.
LIVI: Too many to start (laughs). It evolves over different stages of our relationship. We have very different personalities. When we first started dating, we were constantly arguing because we have different expectations. He was my first boyfriend, so my standards were references straight out from fairy tale stories. My ideal boyfriend was someone that’s tall, dark, handsome. And he’s only met one out of the three criteria! Jokes aside, whereas for Ian, he had just gotten off a very bad relationship. So he had trust issues. But we got over it after a couple of years, the mismatch of expectations. Then there was a part where I struggled to accept his faith. I’m a cradle Catholic, whereas he’s from a different denomination. Sounds like an easy transition but it took me years to explore more about Christianity. Actually I have Ian to thank because I think I became more sure about myself as a person after getting together with him; he asks me difficult questions which others don’t normally dare to ask. Then when we started working, we were in a different field altogether. We had to deal with time allocation. His working hours were crazy (still is), but I learnt not to sulk over it if he has to work overtime.
IAN: We had our moments. We argued so much, I’ve lost count of the fights we had. We’ve tried many different things to keep our fire going. Tiring at times, but it’s interesting at the same time. Livi was never good in sports and I never have the interest to read books so with the contrasting interests that we both have, it’s hard for us to pick an activity that we can do together as a couple but I thank God for letting Livi to be my wife. After we started living together, we found plenty of activities to do together, like cleaning the house, making our bed together, have meals together. Simple stuff, but it was enough.
2. What has stayed the same in this relationship since the beginning?
In pic: The couple were having a ball during their honeymoon at Mt Cook, New Zealand
LIVI: I guess it has to be my trust towards him. I think we both agreed that trust is very important in our relationship, and we have discussed about the consequences of being unfaithful over and over again on numerous occasions. I am very vocal and transparent about my values since day 1 and over time, he’s proven to me that he is a trustworthy partner.
IAN: Our love for food and movies, we never get tired of eating. We always ask each other what to eat all the time. We rarely run out of plans.
3. What are some tips to have a sustainable relationship?
In pic: The couple had their first snow experience together in Japan
LIVI: Trust, communication, and establishing strong foundations for your relationship. I learn it the hard way especially for the communication division, but over the years, I get over arguments quickly. Also, identifying your love language. At first I thought that the “love language” thingamajig was a bunch of bull, but in all honesty, knowing your partner’s love language helps you to get along better without activating World War Z.
IAN: Listen to your partner. Over the years, I may have shut Livi out whenever she tries to initiate conversations about certain topics which I’m not comfortable to discuss with her, but soon I found out that there are more to it. Even till the point where I started to question myself about the view that I once had towards certain things in life. So, hear your partner out.
4. If you could change one thing about your relationship, what would it be?
In pic: Ian saying his vows to Livi
LIVI: Perhaps I should go easy with my temper. No prizes for guessing who has the worst temper between the both of us. When I lose it, that’s it. He’s seen the ugliest side of me. Nothing to be proud of, but we can only learn from the past and be better than who we were yesterday.
IAN: I only will change myself to be better for her. Livi may be seemed like a normal person to most people, but to me, she is not only my wife, but also my competitor and idol. I may not say this to her at all before this, but this is the truth.
5. How much do you value love?
In pic: The couple were seen having a moment together in their version of Winter Wonderland
LIVI: Just like time, love is relative. I don’t know how to tell you how much I value love. I just do. But if you must know, it’s more than just love. Love is a fleeting feeling. Once the honeymoon period wears off, this is where reality hits- It’s about you making a constant choice to work on a relationship, over and over again, even during times where it’s easier for you to quit. Love never quits. And love certainly never fails.
IAN: I don’t know how to measure love, but I value the vow I made to my wife. I’ve taken my oath in the name of our heavenly Father; I will love her till there is no breath in me.